1. Everything's crumbling and old
From Ephesus to Patara, the ancient sites have not been updated for hundreds, if not thousands of years.
2. The food is terrible...
...and they make a dessert out of chicken.
3. ... I mean, they call THIS dessert?!
Baklava: nuts, honey and pastry. Meh.
4. There's nothing worth buying at the Grand Bazaar
More than 4000 shops, nothing to see here.
5. Turks are cold and unfriendly.
They definitely don't invite people they've just met to weddings and birthday events - oh no.
6. Once you’ve seen the Blue Mosque, you've seen it all
There's hardly anything outside the city centre.
7. There are no adventure sports to speak of
I mean, there's parasailing, paragliding, rafting and diving, but other than that...
8. Holiday homes in Turkey are really dark and dingy
You're better to stay at home with the curtains drawn.
...although Kalkan property sometimes fits the bill.
9. The weather is terrible, you'll have to hide indoors all day
300 days of annual sunshine does get pretty repetitive.
10. There are no good beaches
For a country with 8300km of coastline, this is a shame.
11. ... okay, maybe one or two, but they're overrun with tourists
... and full of sand, yeuch!
12. Istanbul’s skyline is so uninspiring
Just so boring.
13. Good views? Nowhere to be found.
It's like staring at a wall.
14. It's all skyscrapers and apartment buildings
Or underground burrows, which is okay if you're a Hobbit.
Villas in Fethiye aren't half bad, really.
15. There's no culture...
Thousands of years of habitation and nothing to show for it.
16 ...or music ...
Yet, so many music festivals. Kind of strange?
17. ...or art
18. There are no areas of natural beauty
Nothing to see here... 
19. There's little wildlife to be seen
If you close your eyes, that is.
20. There are no decent restaurants
And when you do finally find somewhere half-okay to eat, they make you sit on the roof.
21. Tourist attractions are all a bit boring and same-y
Just the same old stuff you get everywhere else in the world.
22. The architecture's a bit dull
Just look at the ground, nothing to see up there.
23. Nope, nothing to see here. You might as well stay at home.
Read more:
Istanbul 
5 
4 
X